The Occupant

 

The Occupant directed by Ronny Yu (1984). 

Here’s a film I saw as a trailer on the Deep Red VHS mixtape called Son of DR Deluxe (review here). 

Chow Yun Fat plays a cop who starts off catching pickpockets. Hansome Wong (Raymond Pak-Ming) an annoying car salesman makes bad jokes and tries to sell a lemon aka a shitty car. There are some white on white subs that blur together. If only I would learn Mandarin already!

sophistication and class

The bowl haircut main protagonist car salesman and his gal pal end up in a spooky house.He threatens to strip nude since there are ghosts? Ok whatevs! But wait, it turns out there is a haunting after-all! 

Great! Now I'm a fuggin mime!

Yun-fat’s police character busts up a massage parlor and hilarity ensues. The spectacled goof and his fem companion get freaked out at a seance. His girlfriend puts on clown makeup to try and frighten the hell outta him. When he falls off a ledge and winds up in female clothes Angie laughs at him! He claims that ghosts pushed him. This movie is very silly but entertaining enough to make you want to sit through the duration. 

Revenge of the Nerds HK Vacation

Officer Valentino (Yun-Fat) bullies Handsom Wong, the nerdy dude into submission and gets called a sex maniac! A ghostly hand raises up and slaps our bowl haircutted friend out of the building! This movie even throws a pop star ghost into the mix! This flick keeps tossing wacky wall wobblers at the wall to see what sticks! There’s lots of random half finished ideas.Why were they in such a hurry? 

I took all the drugs!

Angie goes to the library and uses the patented horror movie trope of the microfische machine. You know the one from the Amityville Horror (1979) and 100 other ghost /demon movies? This cinematic dud throws funny named characters at us like “Big Teeth” and "Poon". I did have to stop and start it a few times. 

It’s cool to see Shaw Brothers star Lo Leih as Chow Yun-Fat’s dad. Angie conjures up an evil spirit named Lisa Law, no really!Things erupt at a seance and Angie gets possessed!  It all ends with a wacky credit sequence that has lots of guitar wank. 

Ronny Yu has had a fascinating career! One of my favorites has always been The Bride with the White Hair (1993) I highly recommend checking out The Trial (1983) if you can find it. Later on, he directed Warriors of Virtue(1997), a strange kids film, Bride of Chucky (1998) and Freddy Vs Jason (2003)! I hate to say it but I was underwhelmed by the whole affair of that aforementioned slog. And yet this director really switched gears and just attained legendary status as the director who nailed the coffin in on two of the biggest horror stars to exist! I mean I'm not a fan but that franchise had to implode in a righteous way!It was at least memorable, this one not so much. Available to watch on archive.org

Population One

 

Population 1 Directed by Rene Daalder (1986).

 When I saw this for the first time I was riddled with Covid. I was stoned on gummies and drunk on thera-flu. If you can find this gem (Daily Motion perhaps?), I suggest you watch it heavily under the influence. This bitch gets trippy in thee best way! Population One stars Screamers front maniac Tomata Du Plenty. If you are unfamiliar with The Screamers, they were early innovators of synth punk. They expressed their art on stage mainly and never released anything (I just listened to the demo on bandcamp so there)!

Sheela Edwards my new crush!

A black and white nuclear wasteland music video ignites the flame of this Rene Daalder directed flick. Daalder made Massacre At Central High (1976) as well, which I highly recommend. 

The first song is funky no wave. Tomata plays the last known survivor of a nuclear holocaust. Population 1 has one of the most entertaining credit sequences that sets up the trajectory of the film. Sometimes Duplenty reminds me of Bruce Mcculloch on the Kids in the Hall. I wonder if this video had an effect on their comedy, who knows if they ever saw this! The Screamers and Tomatu were light years ahead of their time. This project was done as sort of a freeform live album on film.

Haunted bathroom appliances float around plus there’s a saxophone playing. Tomata tells lies as Polaroids snap pics and his nose grows longer like Pinocchio. The Goth siren Sheela Edwards sings a sax fueled tune about being a "Jazz Vampire". If it wasn't already apparent this is kind of a musical, so brace yourself.

Ahh the stench of punk royalty!

 We later see JV dancing with El Duce sans Mentors disguise. Duce was in Tomatu’s band before he started The Mentors. There are so many wild cameos like Vampira, Penelope Houston (singer of punk legends The Avengers), the giant from Twin Peaks, a child version of famed musician and scientologist Beck Hansen.

I invited all my famous pals over to watch me fart in the tub

This is the kind of cult movie Night Flight used to show but I’m not aware if it ever aired on the USA Network back in the day. Sheela Edwards aka Jazz Vampire is one of my favorite characters, sorry Tomata! 

I like how this and The Screamers art was meant to fizzle out and leave a lasting impression for those that witnessed it. I guess in this way they're creating edge-lords and internet trolls which is unfortunate. Still their music influenced so many keyboard synth driven queer core bands.

I heart micro-dosing

During one scene where The Screamers frontman wobbles around the house as they play footage from Bloodfeast (1960). We see a young pudgy version of El Duce with blonde hair and his girlfriend Marisol. 

eyes down here,over there,whatevs!

Some of the theatrics remind me of a Christopher Guest parody film. Sheela Edwards sing/screams I Wanna Hurt! She has a chipped tooth and looks stunning! There’s a mutant titty faced creature that reminded me of Bad Biology (2008). It all ends in a patriotic hail of gun blasts. This movie pops up on streamers every once in awhile but it remains unreleased which is a shame. I'd like to see Kino restore this one on blu-ray, it fits in with their catalog.

Sadly Tomatu Duplenty passed away from cancer at the age of 52. I urge you to seek this one out and their music, they were a vital force in punk rock history. I’d like to see Kino release this on a restored blu-ray.

Diabolical Dr. Z

 

Diabolical Dr. Z. (Miss Muerte) Directed by Jess Franco (1966).

For this reviewer, Jess Franco films are like a mind field. As discussed at length before I lean towards Jean Rollins work but lately I’ve been able to find Franco’s exceptional movies and it's changed my opinion lately, so I am tackling this classic. 

Diabolical Dr. Z is a trailer from Mad Ron’s Prevues From Hell that I always would put on VHS mixtapes for friends and penpals of mine back in the 90s-00s. It starts off w Dr. Zimmer and his daughters electrocuting and sticking long needles into the face of an escaped convict. The dialogue is mostly dubbed English but sometimes switches to French but I’m guessing the original language is Spanish. Dr. Z is seen by the United Nations as an old fool and looney tune. He mentions Dr. Orloff, which is one of my least favorite movies by Jess Franco and yet its all related. Howard Vernon (JF’s good luck charm) is in the meeting as they all shout insults at the Doctor, these tongue lashings cause him to pass-out in his wheelchair. 

Franco's good luck charm

The rich tones of B&W are attractive throughout the film. There’s a wild cabaret show with Miss Death (or Miss Muerte, the original title) who slithers around a mannequin and tacky spiderweb with jarring freakout music. If that’s the talent in this nightclub then what's the food like? They leave soon after so we don’t get to find out! 

Dr. Z’s daughter runs down her supposed friend with a sports car and stages it to look like a fiery fatal accident! The blonde daughter’s face is all scarred up which makes her evil, sadistic or both.There’s a scary surgical room with screeching animals and forlorn jazz music. 

Acupuncture what's that?

I’m taking a guess because Franco has made and remade the face transplantation subplot numerous times and wait a minute, that’s whats about to happen again!

Faceless (1988) to me is Franco's face transplant masterpiece that’s sleazy as hell. This is the primitive beginnings of that trope. Miss Death is offered by Dr. Z’s secretary to sign a contract but it’s a trap and she is injected with sleepy drugs. Later on she is made to help bring other victims to the gas chamber! 

ahhh! relaxing

This is before Franco would appear in his own work or use his wife Lina Romay, who was usually completely nude parading around foggy locations. So this is a bit more tame than his later trash. Vernon's character makes out with Miss Death on a train and gets tossed out. There’s a pretty wafer thin script happening but it never gets dull enough to make you want to bail. The last 23 mins add a gaggle of wacky Brit comedy style actors as the police. This didn’t really work for me.It gets very foggy and atmospheric. Had I seen this before Awful Dr. Orloff i may have thought of Jess Franco in higher terms! This is a fascinating slog through a primitive Eurotrash treat. FOR FRANCO-FILES ONLY, HARD TO BELIEVE I DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP ONCE.

I just inhaled 7 cappuccinos

Face the death breath of Dr. Z!

Autopsy

 

Autopsia (Autopsy) Directed by Juan Logar (1973).

Autopsy aka Toe Tag Joe was one of the trickiest VHS tapes to find, that is until my bestie Skunkape discovered it taped beneath a bail of dank Hubba Bubba and it slithered its way toward my Roku. It didn't even show up Tubi and that's where most Cult Exploits can be streamed!

Yes it was dreadful, we both watched it and can attest that it was so not worth all the effort but we review sometimes as a dire warning! 

If you saw famous footage of Vietnam plus Faces of Death (1978) and thought if only those two were not only fused together but had some tacked on melodramatic, existential inane dialogue that would also help to create an entire viewpoint on the duality of mankind.And if you can find it, this movie was made for such a sick individual.In the catalog Chas described it as a "strangely moving, troubling film". I actually liked the other Autopsy (1975) with Mimsy Farmer much more than this.

not appearing in THIS Autopsy

Skunkape and I both hated this film so there you go! It has Jack Taylor from Pieces (1982) and Jess Franco’s work. There’s no Jacopetti or Prosperi/ Godfather’s of Mondo involvement so I can’t blame Italians for this dreck, I have to accuse Spain of such a heavy guilt trip this time! 

The main character for some reason craves to see a genuine autopsy and that’s basically the money shot of this opus. The poor soul who donated their body so their brain could legally be removed and displayed on screen should’ve read the fine print. Or maybe it was a homeless man who was desperate, at any rate the whole affair is a major bummer and doesn’t justify the weird narrative the film makers have to illustrate. It’s an anti-war message handled very haphazardly and sloppy just like your typical schlocky Mondo junk. 

Fisher Price journalism

This Spanish journalist who’s dubbed into English is played by Juan Luis Galiardo, he interviews anyone they can find about the subject of Death. 

Fire my agent for this piece of shit!

Jack Taylor plays the dude who gets to saw through the Steak-umm meat (which is where they obtain that cut of cheaply priced grocery store offal)! If someone made a film like this now what war atrocities would they pontificate over? Post 9/11 the war seems to have moved from outside lands to within and now that Fascist Christian nationalism, supreme ignorance and greed is trendy, this will most likely cave in our own Democracy which we have taken for granted and even worse, assigned billionaire Nazis to restructure what remains for only the wealthy. 

Fellini who?

Gallardo and two other actresses have appeared in Paul Naschy’s films besides this. Skip it and the next four years (unless T—p becomes Emperor Lard-Poutine) in that case just lobotomize me now!

This aint no Carcass album cover!

I bet on the Yeti in that Paul Naschy flick and lost!

In the line of duty 4

 

In the line of duty 4 (Yes Madam 4) starring Cynthia Khan (1989). 

Dickson Poon and Anthony Wong (not that one) on the keytar, ahem Keyboard, I am so there! 

According to HKMDB the sequels go in this order beginning with Yes Madam (1985), a vehicle starring Michele Yeoh, who does not appear in this feature.
 

Female super cop played by Cynthia Khan infiltrates a bunch of cartoonish gangsters loading things onto a freighter. Penny, code name "White Cat" finally reveals her name (in this dubbed version I watched) after an assortment of fights break out. The battle features lethal wrenches strung together that emit sparks. 

I'm emitting rainbow farts!

There’s a hardly a break between one fight and the next in this flick. I don’t recognize the actors besides Donnie Yen but they’re all believable and skilled brawlers.The cops all have color coded kitty cat names, which is just silly.

Next the head of the CIA shows up with a variety of firearms. I like how he announces his title to everyone present and then starts blasting away!

I was on TV once so I qualify to run Trump's CIA

There’s a scene where Richey played by Yuen Yat-Cho and Tommy ( Liu Kai-Chi) both snack on a loaf of Italian bread. It’s a minute of joyfullness just before a blood bath that includes a piece of furniture as a barricade.

Mama Mia, I dunka-dabread in dawine

 I don’t think you need to watch the first 3 films to understand this one they’re not linear and don't even star the same cast.

There’s a super cool Indiana Jones stunt copy on a moving vehicle with Penny-cat the female officer. Richey gets tortured in a freezer by more gangsters and almost dies of hypothermia. He bounces back real quick and has a negative of some kind that these terrorists want. I mean, there's a small thread of a story and it’s more about the ACTION! 

The actor who dubs Donnie Yen sounds extra proper and snobby. He sticks up for Richey by fighting a cackling white goofball who does those irritating Bruce Lee noises. I can't place who this actor looks like but it's somewhere between American Pie and a Kevin Smith turd. That same jerk dies at the police station and Donnie flees HK. A sunglasses wearing assassin with a huge blade gets into a fight in her and almost slices off Richey’s head. 

What annoying douche do I resemble huh Crank?

The dance like fight choreography is savage. Speaking of fights, Penny gets into a brutal one with a curly haired blonde who looks like Desus and Mero’s fav. pornstar Sara Jay. 

Soo HAWT!

People who are squeamish about violence toward women and such should probably not watch this! Penny gets smacked around by dudes quite often but she bites back hard! It's difficult to watch and the fighting is all choreographed masterfully but it's slightly misogynistic so be warned. The black dude from Tiger Cage shows up in a fight with Donnie Yen. I wonder if he was the inspiration for Jax in Mortal Kombat 2. This film is a stunt fueled thrill ride with impressive fighting. You've seen it before but it's seriously never boring (even if there's hardly a story at all)!

Just having a regular normal haircut!

Nude Vampire

Nude Vampire Dir by Jean Rollin ( La Vampire Nue,1970).

Come with me on a blood ritualistic journey where we shall delve into the dimension of the king of Lesbian vampirism Mr. Jean Rollin! 

A suicide cult headed by The Master, (no not the Manos the Hands of Fate one), who all wear Wickerman-eqsue animals masks mock in disapproval. One character in a chicken mask reminded me of a DEVO's video for "Love Not Anger". But the animal people win this time and carry a female away.

This Master is for Adults Only

This film has its own path and rhythm, for example belly dancers in makeup freakout to bongos.Wait it might all be a demented low-rent stage play! You should probably get under the influence fast to be at the same level as this thrill ride. It all was triggered by a suicide gunshot to the head. One character says "Go to where more mysteries await you"! We then are treated to a very long self masturbatory scene with actress Caroline Cartier’s frequently seen nude body.

Crown Royal bag makes a snazzy makeshift hood!

Nude Vamp gets all wacky with candelabras and comedy hijinx. A female walking slowly down a staircase nude with a see through outfit while holding a candelabra, Now we’re talkin! 

As for the thin plot line, it was never about the titular nude vampire at all really, it was all about the Son and his Daddy drama!

And TWINS!

Marie-Pierre Castel and her twin Catherine, the girls who appeared later in such classics as Lips of Blood (1975) and Shiver of The Vampires (1971) are thee best moments of this film, which is their debut. The only flaw I see was that there were hardly any queer indications besides light blood drinking. Other than that minor complaint Nude Vampire stands among Rollins phantasmagoric bests.

Is this the Nude Vampire?

Like a Velvet Glove Cast in iron