USA UP ALL NIGHT WEEK- Mugsy's Girls/ Delta Pi

 

Mugsy’s girls/Delta Pi (1984). I’ve dreaded this day only because this movie kept gnawing at me incessantly and then I discovered it was on UP ALL NIGHT and I knew I had to watch it. It’s not too painful and was way more fun than I’d imagined. 

Why was I so reluctant? Just like Dr. Channard said “to think I hesitated”. It’s got a veritable Hollywood Squares cast of Ruth Gordon, Eddie Deezen and Laura Brannigan. Ooh let’s play Marry- Fuck-Kill! 

It begins w a horrid animated credit sequence that’s drenched in neon. Teacup the bunny (an actual rabbit) is one character I’m looking forward to seeing him munch on a carrot or a sorority girl’s ankle. The gals of the house (which is a pigsty in the Frat tradition of Animal House/ King Frat (1978,1979). The girls of Delta Pi devise a plan to raise money by mud wrestling. I mean that’s the basic plot, business venture, Ruth Gordon—GO! They hit the streets with some flyers, you know “pre-interwebz” technology. Sure--movie that’s a dopey premise! 

Wedgies wedgies wedgies

Ruth as Mugsy shows up and seems riddled with senility. I have to say Laura Brannigan is kind of impressing me, not a bad actress as the MC. She never sings however. 

The girl’s backyard kiddie pool wrasslin set up manages to draw a sizable crowd! Deezen and this tanned douche named Shawn (James Wilder) get wind of it as well. Gordon as Mugsy does her usual beloved RG routine but seems more crazed. She passed away only a year after this came out. The wrestling is shocking and also arousing to anyone in this neighborhood, which means it’s a motherfucking hit idea! Who knew?

Deez and Douche coming to CBS this fall

Mugsy’ stunt double hops in the overcrowded pool full of suds. I mean they said mud but apparently, they included foam! Speaking of bubbles, the ladies sell beer in plastic cups for 50c. I mean this movie is capitalism personified! 

There’s the obligatory Animal House window moment with a well-endowed nerd girl. She stuffs her bra and later we find they’re inflatable and not so fantastic. 

Poor teacup eats a joint and takes a gentle ride on a turntable. Her Mommy Magic played by Joanna Dierck is an irresponsible stoner parent. She wears a top hat, does coke and smokes a roach at the same time. 

shittiest parent award

At the shindig there’s some light sexual assault with a punk dude and piss drinking, which just comes out of nowhere! Chalk is up to “punksploitation”! It was kind of worth it because the party was a success. Shawn and Lenny show up to convince the girls to wrestle for more money and they all split it. Hey wait, is this the Netflix G.L.O.W.’s real story? Eddie wears one of those Foreign legion camo hats with the drape. The music in this film is all wrong! It’s either gentle funk or honking sax. 

exhibit A: Bunny smokes joint

They bust out some pot brownies on the road and Eddie eats one while driving. The blonde actress Kristi Somers who was also in Savage Streets (1984) moons some girls and looks pretty attractive. She actually kind of resembles Bambi Woods the lead actress in Debbie Does Dallas (1978). The frat girls finally make it to Vegas but have to face the mafia. Shawn, Eddie Deezen’s buddy is the Delta Pi girl’s worst friend who fucks up their game. Did they really think they wouldn’t have to eventually wrestle more threatening opponents? 

Neon Lights a Flashin' and One arm bandits crashin'

There is some nice vintage authentic Vegas footage. Then we get the obvious workout montage complete w Mugsy cheering them on with a baby megaphone. She shrieks like a banshee over the 80s cheese workout music. Shawn keeps trying to make deals and the cowboy mafia man wants to stuff Teacup for pooping on his desk! Teacup the bunny remains thee best character nary a word of dialogue. Deezen and Karen (the cute nerd girl) fuck and Eddie thinks her dildo is a rocket! 

We want Schlitz, Sharky Vandervort's fave beer

One of the best scenes has the girls joyriding with a poker player as they torture him and drive to kill his car. Their opposing team are called the Nevada Nasties. This time it’s real mud and real wrassling, no bullshit! Matilda the raw meat-eating hottie from G.L.O.W. and other media shows up and others like Fang (who may be a real wrestler not sure). 

oh shit, don't let them out!

Magic looks pretty sexy and uses her tophat as a way to win. They manage to get a high score but the competition is the only reason to stick around for the ending. Ruth G’s stunt double fights Matilda and then the mafia shows up. No spoilers here. If you’re looking for a dumb comedy with a little bit of everything then check it out. 3 out of 5 stoner rabbit turds.