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Deep Red Deluxe compiled by
Chas Balun (1991).
Just like the famed
Skunkape trailer for Contamination that I’m about to paraphrase goes “You’ve
seen Son of Deep Red Deluxe and you’ve seen Bride of Deep Red, but have you
seen the one that started it all”? This time to procure a rare copy of this
tape, I excavated the Atari E.T. landfill, ran over some hipsters with a
bulldozer and low and behold this video dupe fell into my lap. Oh, and I also
wrassled with one of those scissor wielding Hands Across America soulless
doppelgangers. And lastly I bargained with the Asian man from Hellraiser that sells
the Lament Configuration and he scored me this mind bender.
As you can tell, I was
maimed in the accident, my limbs were torn off! I had some robot arm technology
(used in Empire Strikes Back) performed by an android surgeon and he hooked me
up with these handy dandy new didjits. So that’s why it took 3 years to write
this.
Once you pop in the tape
into the metaphorical VCR It emerges from a door of TV static with a blindingly
white trailer for John Carpenter’s The Thing. That aforementioned flick has a
noggin scratching tagline, I overlooked before that says “Man is the warmest
place to hide”. So, we’re just here to be split open pig on a spit roast style
and “Turduckened Taun Taun style?”
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| I'm so offended! |
The Dr. Butcher trailer is
another highlight, it features a trailer voice champion, like Don Lafontaine
and Percy Rodriguez (the voice of the Loc-Nar) and that’s the criminally under
mentioned Adolph Caezar. Adolph is most famous as the Dawn and Day of the Dead
trailer voice. He’s also an acclaimed actor in his own right who appeared in
The Color Purple and A Soldier’s Story. During the Dr. Butcher trailer, they
even play that 8-bit style casio music by Walter Sear from the Snuff Maximus
cut.
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| Remember this Intellivision Dr. Butcher Micro-Surgeon edition? |
I’m getting all kinds of
flashbacks of the 9th grade when I first ordered Deep Red Alert #1
from Fantaco, because this tape is the visual equivalent of that issue! There's even a Jim Van Bebber promo reel ad in that zine (most of that cassette is included on this one, so it's a bargain)!
Prior to Jim Van Bebber’s
film Manson Family eventually being released on Blu-ray by Severin,
this was thee only way you could see a trailer for Charlies Family. It was also
released in illustrated script form by Creation books in the UK. I enjoyed it
as a solid parody of the Laurence Merrick Manson documentary (which it lifts whole
re-enactments from). Check out the review for the Manson film here.
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| No room for me in that new Tarantino Manson flick? |
Marcello Games who plays
Charlie and was in one quick moment in Deadbeat at Dawn and vanished before the
film was completed. The same thing apparently happened to the actor in Roadkill
: The Last Days of John Martin. Van Bebber went through miles of hell to get
the film off the ground and it’s commendable. There's something going on with him lately and noone but the man himself can figure it out and I'm not going to try to either.
This VHS compilation
might’ve knocked Mad Ron’s Prevues down a peg, had Chas not dubbed trailers
from that aforementioned tape he sold separately into this new mix. How can I
tell? The shroud of Happy Goldsplatt is hand spliced in periodically.
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| My Fuggin Weeny fell off again! |
The Martin trailer is a
great one and shows the flashback footage from the final cut in color.
Patton Oswalt is constantly
complaining about how Criterion should re-release that Romero classic with
extra features and I couldn’t agree more.
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| Criterion will put out Tiny Furniture but not add this one to their roster? |
Balun and Van Bebber’s
trailer for the unreleased Chunkblower is here once again. If only that one was
funded to completion. Claude the gear jammin, meathook swingin CB radio psycho
could’ve gone down in history as a cross between Red Sovine and Leatherface,
but sadly only the trailer remains. His Krueger-esque quip is
“There is no why”!
Three on a Meathook is a
trailer and film that sadly never surpasses the great title of that dull
splatter flick. We get a segment of pre Miramax copyrighted Jackie Chan and or
Chinese action cinematic gun and chop em up battles.
The quality and VHS haze
makes me grateful but also sad that most of this is up on YT or Amazon in
superior HD format.
Some sadistically demented
and just plain nasty water sports and Japanese sex footage set to "Ride of the Valkyries" is here for your viewing pleasure. I like the repeated image of a
tied up woman in a cage hurled off a building (it’s out there man)! Make sure
you light up for maximum viewing!
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| I'm confused! |
More Mad Ron stolen moments
( Thankfully Chas’ head never erupted in brain matter and skull cavity
fragments, like that dude who booted the end of video).
He chose Torso and Deep Red
just before some choice clips of Mad Dr of Blood island.
Here we get the unfiltered
version of the Skinny Puppy vid for "Warlock" that uses footage from a trillion
horror movies. Someone on YT actually remixed the video to update it in HD.
If you don’t know the
footage they used like Bad Taste or Henry, turn in your horror nerd card
forever. It’s fun to see how many you can name.
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There's an exploitive local news 2 part segment about how horror films warp teens minds and Chas is interviewed. Most of the interviews are with real kids just after they went to see Hellraiser 2 in the theater. I'm glad my parents never saw this expose about how kids get desensitized because they're able to rent gore movies without adult consent. I snuck watched most of my favorite horror classics!
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| there's that accurate journalism for ya! |
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| R.I.P. videostores |
