-Reviewed by Skunkape-
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Directed by Joe Ritter 1988 |
Rhonda's Introduction
Another Comedy with boobs!!! But wait, this movie is not funny and boobs are almost nowhere to be found. Even though this another perfect movie for the USA-U.A.N. lineup a cut version of this film makes it even worse! Luckily there's Rhonda and all the 976 numbers during the breaks to keep you stimulated.
So why bother, Well, being a hardcore Land of the Lost fanatic and knowing that actor Philip Paley, Chaka himself is the lead role really sold me. I thought it would be cool to see Paley shed his fur for a little fun in the sun and play a horny teen looking for some love.
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"Chaka want to get lost in your land!","Chaka horny and corny" "Chaka, you shaved!, Talk about manscaping." |
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"D.R. does not stand for Dumb Roadie!" |
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Behold THE SOUNDTRACK to Beach Balls |
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They're about to rock, but I don't salute them. |
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Let's join that Surf Nazi Gang! |
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What's shocking is how bad Beach Balls is! |
Roger Corman's New Horizons production company really really went cheap on this. Everyone's house is gross looking and even the beach looks cruddy. Director Joe Ritter, a competent Steadicam operator should have stayed behind the camera because this movie is trying so hard to be crude and sweet but failing miserably! His body of work is impressive though.
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They Might NOT Be Giants |
There is one other actor that may make this worth a viewing. Gary Schneider who plays a thug named Mollusk. (The Mollusk-my favorite Ween Album).
Schneider was the incomparable character of Bozo in the mother of all cult films, The Toxic Avenger. Bozo was the role he was born to play because he's not given much to say making his character in Beach Balls a waste. Just don't talk about his mom though, he doesn't like that.
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Mollusk's breath smells like microwaved seafood! |
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Bozo is stressed, I mean Mollusk. |
Charlie meets Wendy, the girl of his dreams but the problem is that she only dates musicians. She wants Keith, the front man from the band Severed Heads in a Bag! ( D.R. Starr Band ) If that band had seven members and it was a duffel bag maybe Joe Pesci would be in the movie! - cricket chirp-
Wendy gets her chance with Keith, then feels like he only wants her for sex, which he does and Charlie swoops in. We also meet Charlie's parents who are religious fanatics, they oppress his love for the guitar by associating it with Satan. His sister is dating a jockish lifeguard and he is quite the bully. Why? Well he's also the brother of the girl Charlie has the hots for and later we find out that he's in the closet, so expect lots of gay jokes, 80's style.
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Miller from Repo Man was right about John Wayne! |
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They might have a chance to get signed by Alternative Tentacle Records. |
4/10 Bananas
This episode aired August 30th 1991
The movie that followed was Combat Academy
Maybe it's worth a watch for a few chuckles and that 80's nostalgia that the kids these days just love.
Should've have more T & A, so expect your beach balls to be blue after watching this.
More Clips and Highlights from Rhonda during Beach Balls
Filmed in 1987 released in 1988
ReplyDeleteI have to agree it was a stupid silly movie & I was in it!
D.R. Starr. I got to play the butthead stereotypical, rockstar, wannabe, asshole antagonist Keith, the one that Wendy (Heid Helmer RIP) has a crush on.
The original working title was: “CHARLIE’S GUITAR”
Which would’ve made much more sense! Unfortunately, it wouldn’t have made it any better!
That’s why there is not one “beach ball” spotted in the whole movie! It was fun filming And I got two songs on the soundtrack Time to Rock and Passion Fix Actually those two songs were recorded by my first LA bands PUSH and ROYALTY having my music in the movie didn’t pay off I’ve been paid $0 for that. It was all great.until I got hit in the face by the drunk lifeguard In the living room fight scene- because he was actually drinking on set shotgunning real beers! Shit happens!
Filming at GAZZARRI’s on the infamousSunset Strip was cool and the fact that Bill got to play himself “The Godfather of Rock” was awesome!. My band Dr STARR⭐️ played Gazzarri’s many times to sell out crowds in the 80’s and BILL was a good pal and friend of mine. RIP He had trouble remembering his lines and called us the Sacred Cows & the four fucks, cause he couldn’t remember - his line …
Severed “HEADS” in a Bag. supposedly a fictitious band ? come to find out later, there was an actual punk band about that time called
Severed “HEAD” in a Bag,
All in all, I have no regrets it is what it was: a lame attempt to capture or timestamp what was happening in Hollywood at that time With all the hair, metal bands and decadence, it fit in with the decline of western civilizationin in some ways I’m embarrassed, but honored to be in a Roger Corman (the King of the “B” movies) but at the same time what can you do? I gotta live with it and cringe anytime somebody tells me they saw the movie. I apologize for wasting 88 minutes of their life they’ll never get back. This could’ve been one of the reasons why Dr STARR⭐️ never got signed to a major label? The BEACH BALLS soundtrack had some decent music on it unprompted by Metal Blade Records film label Phoenix records & distributed by Capitol Records distribution Oh yeah, and the record company guy from NY in the last scenes actually worked at Capitol in LA
Anyways The casting crew were awesome to work with. It was my first movie and I got all my lines on one take whether it was good or bad like I said it is what it is or is what it was: a poopy movie! but fun to film. That’s my story, Douglas RandallStarr
DR STARR ⭐️ 11-30-24