The Flesh And Blood Show Directed By Pete Walker, Starring Robin Askwith (1972).
Make sure you got your classic headache inducing red and blue 3D spectacles as you watch This Pete Walker film or you'll be shit out of luck once the technicolor visual assault splatters across the screen. I bet it was glorious in the theater, but in this version we don't get the original eye popping ending, just a black and white one. So forget what I said, unless you've got a time machine.
I like Walker's style and the music by Cyril Ornadel really sets up the next hour and a half. A blonde bird with luscious bosoms runs totally naked over to a "stupid bastard" named John (played by David Howey) with a fake pen knife sticking out of his belly. He knocks on the door late at night and lunges in, pretending he's been stabbed, pfft, method actors! All of the actors work on horror films-- man I love films within films-- they're cinematic egg rolls stuffed with delightful goodies instead of cabbage and sawdust. The cheeky sense of humor is a welcome presence after a long hiatus from Walkers work here at ToG. This month we've been covering a lot of British treats that Fandor carries and it's good to see another fun one has arrived.
There are a lot of itchy sweaters and mod clothes in this film, the fashion is pretty swell. More actors and producers show up, the London film scene is booming. I'd like to see Randolph Caer star of Garth Marenghi's "Bitch Killer" show up, he's most likely based on a murderous Walker style character.
more spaghetti sauce please! |
The actors all show up at a spooky Grand Guignol style theater, where they find another naked blonde and Robin Askwith with giant mutton chops. The production manager is the spitting image of Donovan. On stage the actors prance around like cave people in loin cloths and the women wear thigh high boots. Schizo was featured in the catalog instead of this, but don't bother with that tepid bore, The Flesh And Blood Show is waay more entertaining.
Two babes in skimpy prehistoric garb massage each other in a vaguely sexual way; in fact this is the most flesh I've seen yet in a Walker production. I'm also ecstatic to see the title is not bullshit, because we're treated to buckets of blood and mounds of female flesh.
The actors investigate a creaky noise they heard in the bowels of the theatre and all head down. They find a bunch of wax statues, but no one notices but there's a panting weirdo in their midst and what looks like a female corpse.
Mike the "Donovan stunt double" calls the police but is almost arrested for pranking them. It turns out the dead body in the cellar was just another wax dummy. A mysterious new girl shows up played by Luan Peters and all the other women are jealous! She kind of looks like Faye Dunaway in her prime, only cuter. The stupid bastard who likes to play dirty tricks seems to be a creepy voyeur and is always lurking in the corner spying on people.
Carol, the top heavy blonde, leaves and checks out the beach on a cold dark night and is almost sexually assaulted by a homeless guy with a long knife.
I'm the porn parody version of Faye Dunaway |
The rest of the troupe figures out that John the leering creep is the most likely culprit. After they assume this, he disappears. They have some tea with a couple of old timers and they think it may be some kind of Shakespearean curse. This gives them a chance to investigate the history of the costal town down at the library which may involve someone named Alfred Kingsley (who's most likely the sinister Major Bell). Candace Glen Denning from Snape island shows off her perky tits she's very cute but not much of an actress.
Don't be jealous because we look like rock stars and you look like a second rate dink |
Carol stumbles upon a group of skeletons and somehow ends up stuck on a seaside stairwell ( I know that sentence seems weird, but that's what it looks like to me)! I'm no seaman or anything, guffaw!
John isn't responsible and we see him in the morgue, it's kinda shitty how his "friends" accused him of sexual assault and dropped him like a sack of garbage.
I'm so alone, and I never got laid |
Major Bell (Patrick Barr) one of the old timers shows up in one girls dressing room. He starts reciting poetry from Othello in the theatre, he's wacked out of his mind, maybe he forgot his brain medicine! They flashback to his time and it turns out he was an actor in that very institute who murdered his wife. His scene is shown in black and white and even though he's supposed to be Othello, he looks like Rasputin, the Mad Monk!
In Russia this is 3D scene (in Yakov Smirnov voice). |
There's a very disturbing sex scene that has a little kid in the background, as major bell interrupts his cheating wife and ties the couple up naked.
I like how his reaction to their debauchery has him yelling "excrement!" During the last 10 minutes he kind of takes over. So step aside young hipsters and watch this old coot get fucking mental! This along with The Comeback is one of Pete Walker's strongest films, I loved it and found it to be a total blast! Fandor is currently streaming it.
HIGH RECOMMENDED!
WATCH HERE
HIGH RECOMMENDED!
WATCH HERE
Great review! Sounds like some good teasploitation.
ReplyDeleteI like that term TEASPOITATION
ReplyDelete