Women's Prison Massacre

 Women's Prison Massacre (Emmanuelle in Prison, Emmanuelle Escapes From Hell, A Bunch Of Bastards) Directed By Bruno Mattei, starring Laura Gemser (1983).
It starts with a lurid extremely European performance art piece as three women deliver deadpan lines wearing green face paint. This play is an artistic retaliation against their confinement and upsets the guards and crowd enough that they pelt them with vegetables!

"One singular sensation...."

   Claudio Fragasso, the man who later famously turned trolls into vegetarians that serve Nilbog milk is also responsible for this effort. Italian trash regulars Franca Stoppi (The Other Hell, Buio Omega), and Larraine De Salle (Cannibal Ferox, House On The Edge) play the jackboot wearing prison guards. Ursula Flora (who left showbiz three years later) plays Albina, the Edgar Winter looking crazy eyed albino, who arm wrestles Gemser and later plays one of the most drawn out games of russian roulette in cinematic history. Albina makes incredibly deranged faces and intensely stares at a lesbian couple in the shower as fake Goblin music plays. The similar Goblin music is a welcome change from the usual blast stolen Dawn of The Dead soundtrack from a fuzzed out boombox that Mattei usually passes off as his own. The quality of this film is in league with the best of the Mattei catalog, among Rats: Nights Of Terror, Hell Of The Living Dead and The Other Hell. The shot composition by Henry Frogers is more professional this time around. Emmanuelle's tactic of screwing her way in exchange for favors doesn't work in the barbaric penal system and the guards even enjoy beating on her.

Stop saying I look like Edgar Winter!

   One odd moments has a girl sleeping with a male blowup doll (how did they sneak that one into prison)?
Carlo De Mejo (City Of The Living Dead, and the recently reviewed The Other Hell) shows up with a cowboy hat as Lawman Harrison. His mission is to arrest notorious convict Crazy Boy Henderson (Gabriele Tinti) and his pals Blade and Geronimo, but they outsmart him. Crazy Boy Henderson actor Tinti was married to Gemser in real life. The male convicts end up taking over the women's prison Assault On Precinct 13 style and decide to take hostages.

Two girls for every paisano

   Franca Stoppi gets her throat eaten off by one cannibalistic convict and the 70's police radios they use to demand a ransom are as big as a thermos. Lorraine does a forced strip tease at gunpoint and exudes nervous tension. The horny felons start to target girls to molest, but leave Emmanuelle alone for some reason, this is highly unusual for her. The police all of a sudden are outside (they were briefly established), but seemed to have waited for all the debauchery in the prison to reach a climax before interfering, because Mattei thankfully dishes out the sleaze!
   One busty female prisoner attaches a razor blade to a cork and hides it in her twat, while waiting for a rapist to enter her and man does he get an unpleasant surprise!
   There's a minimal explanation tacked on during the last few minutes as to why Emmanuelle gets locked up in the first place and an unintentionally goofy courtroom scene with a judge dressed up like Donald Duck!

Get my agent on the phone, I should co-host Top Chef!

   The three convicts have odd features one looks like Tommy Wiseau, A 70's Mego Hulk action figure and a fake Lee Ving. After the razor cork eunuch runs away and down the corridor, his face bleeds and contorts like the guy in Scanners (not entirely sure why, but it looks great)! Then it all ends with a shoot out with the police, the bullet effects look like tomato paste! If you go in with high expectations or thinking this will be as gore soaked and sex filled as a typical Emmanuelle flick, you may be slightly disappointed! But if you are like me and don't expect anything resembling quality with the Mattei seal of approval attached, than you will be pleasantly surprised! This title is available uncut on Amazon Prime go get a free trial!
Slightly Recommended! 
8 OUT OF 10 on the Gore-Meter

Too much Marinara on my Pizza Hut breadsticks!

Oh Hi There! did you enjoy my film The Room?

Move over Walker Texas Ranger!