Mr. Vampire Directed By Ricky Lau. Starring
Lam Ching-Ying. 1985
I
saw the English translated one first along time ago (at least 7 years) and I
remember the dialogue being more outlandish in an Umberto Lenzi type way. This
is the original Mandarin version. The only way to keep a Chinese vampire out of
commission is it to hang a sacred scroll over his hat. Actually there are many
ways to defeat a Jing Shi (or Hopping Vampire) read about the folklore here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Shi
This is the greatest hopping chinese
vampire film ever made and there are over 5 sequels. There are tons of
Chan-esque marial arts comedy fighting. Mainly because this was produced by
Sammo Hung! It's less of a horror movie then an all out comedy with the
undead.The unibrowed actor that plays master Kau is Lam Ching-Ying he’s in a
lot of the sequels and other kick magic related monster battles, defusing the
unholy with flying light up swords and chicken blood.
The
bowl cut shrimp (whose name is MAN played by Ricky Hui) and his master are so
retarded that they don't know how to fix up a cup of coffee (there's the caste
system at work)! They slurp each one individually (black coffee, milk then
sugar). There's a lot of wacky misunderstandings going on like a Chinese Threes
company with vampires! They don't have time to figure it out coffee, they are
too busy battling the undead.
Something
sinister is going down at the Dragon Fly Plot, pissed off ghosts seek revenge
like the ones in Poltergeist. Incense
is used a lot and sacred rituals (like the catholic ones in Hammer Films). The
fire, chicken blood ritual is pretty bad ass! An attractive ghost hitches a
ride on a bike, she took a shine to one of the main characters after he took
care of her grave at the Dragon Fly Plot.
The
piece of yellow paper with Chinese characters on it is magic and when shrimp
bowl haircut (Man) swallows it he can control and humiliate a high society
character. The light up grid on the wooden coffin holding the vampire in check
isn't enough to keep him locked in. They place the unibrowed master in jail
without a trial because he has long nails and is a suspect in the murder of the
uncle character. Raw sticky rice, chicken blood and yellow paper are the
garlic, holy water and crosses of Mr. Vampire! Also if you hold your breath a
vampire cannot see you, these are helpful tips if you ever find yourself in an
Asian vampire invasion! There's flying, crotch biting and well choreographed
fighting. There's a wire contraption that fries vampires that reminds me of the
tennis ball inter-dimensional hijinks in Poltergeist!
A snake’s gall bladder is mushed into a mortar and pestle to prevent a vampire
bite (see Calamity of Snakes & Killer Snakes for more reptile remedies). A
cheap rice salesman almost kills the vampire busting team by mixing in inferior
rice! I saw this before Chinese Ghost
Story and Close Encounters of The
Spooky Kind, so this was my first entry into pretty female ghosts seeking
mortal men to fall in love with. They are pretty on the outside, but mean one-eyed
headless bitches on the inside!
Mr.
Vampire is more of a Sammo Hung haunted comedy then perverted Jing Wong/ Shaw
Brothers and It should be appropriate for kids, but what do I know?
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