Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Shot for sale at Chop Top's site

 Texas Chainsaw 2. Directed by Tobe Hooper, Starring Bill Moseley. (1986)

                  So what am I trying to accomplish by reviewing an overly picked over sequel that half of the population assume has already been remade (I bet it’s in the works), starring no name teens and a former video director? Because first and fore most its in the catalog (unrated and outrageous too coin the ChunkBlower trailer), also I just watched it on the big screen and think it deserves to be re-evaluated!

                   Bill Moseley steals the entire film and over shadows poor catcher mitt face (I mean Bill Johnson’s ape like version of Leatherface). Yes it is Leatherface in love, or bride of Leatherface, the bride being Caroline Williams as Stretch. Bill Moseley’s entire career in an eggshell is an overblown but dead on Edwin Neal impression and he’s successfully carried Rob Zombie’s carcass toward fame and glory and good for both of them, they found an untapped market and like my humanities teacher claims “The brilliant writers steal”. Am I implying they are plagiarizing Tobe Hooper? Possibly, but then again he’s abandoned his own style like many other former genius directors and look what it’s gotten him?

                  Authentic Texas culture is represented through out Chainsaw 2. Big Red Soda is on every table, among the entrails, yuppies are drinking Shiner Bock, Kinky Friedman has a cameo role (a nationally known Texas Figure) and Joe Bob Briggs (his seen got deleted though). Lou Perryman plays L.G. a character who is so addicted to spitting that even when his face gets torn off he continues to spit. Sadly in real life Perryman was murdered by some idiot (read about it here) 

                  Tobe Hooper took the Sam Raimi approach and basically remade the first film in a vivid unhinged cartoonish way (even though it is still a sequel). This mutant inbred clan keeps spawning new children and Chop Top, a Nam vet with a Sonny Bono wig and a metal skull plate is the Hitchhiker's twin brother. He requests “In-a-Vida-Degada by Iron Butterfly at the radio station freakout. The family of Ed Gein’s are more accepted among society (Jim Seidow is an award winning chef), but watch out for those hard shell peppercorns! One of the best lines he gives as he gets chainsawed up the ass is "damn that sure cured my hems!"

Gratuitous Chainsaw sex 

                 The film opens with a chicken car race verses two maniacal yuppies (who apparently have no break line in their vehicle). They hear the yankees demise broadcast over Stretch’s city folk radio and decide to retaliate. The family is too inbred to recall that letting grampa handle the killing once again is a terrible idea. The Cramps are on the soundtrack, but the rest is lame junk (like Timbuk 3 and Oingo Boingo) 

                 Meanwhile Dennis Hopper is shopping for chainsaws and making his way toward the clan’s compound which looks like a cross between Bussey’s fleamarket (where I've seen Nazi weapons and prostitute licenses for sale) and a nuclear fallout shelter. Hopper is out to avenge his late retarded brother Franklin (whose skeleton is even fat)!  Tom Savini’s effects are impressive as usual, this film and Wiseblood could have a contest too see which has the most quotable lines used in songs. Some films are best seen once, but I always felt I should’ve revisted this one and I’m glad I did it with an audience during a screening, because it truly makes a difference and hopefully cult theaters will out last video stores.

 Available for Rent over at Netflix