Madhouse (1981) Dir. by Ovidio Assonitus.
Boobs Schmoobs, I'm more of an ass (on-itus)-man! |
During the brutal "Rottwieller eats fat guy" scene we hear identical music from Cannibal Holocaust (1980). I guess Riz recycles!
Boobs Schmoobs, I'm more of an ass (on-itus)-man! |
I guess Argento lost my number? |
I’m glad to see Fangoria evolve into this new LGTBQ plus friendly magazine. It's quite remarkable. I read in Bill Landis’ biography (given to me by my pal Rob Fletcher), that in the late 70's Landis wanted Bob Martin head honcho of Fangoria to allow gay porn reviews. Unc Bob freaked and it soured their relationship. It’s insane how ahead of his time Bill Landis was even if he was kind of a wacko. He was also a gay stunt cock but that’s spoiling the book, read it yourself.
WATCH HERE
Hatchet for a Honeymoon. Directed by Mario Bava. (1970).
I saw this once before long ago and remember liking it. It’s a title from Chas’ catalog so it’s a long overdue review. Here we go!
The credits give off a Rankin Bass drenched in blood vibe. This is of course the master of the macabre Mario Bava. Tarantino once gave him a lifetime achievement award!
A meatclever murder happens on a speeding train as John (played by Stephen Forsyth) a self described psycho hates his current wife and killed 5 before her. Mildred his bride played by Laura Betti warns that she’ll never grant him a divorce! John is in the fashion business, so lots of models show up, however this dude is preoccupied with some mannequin hanky panky to care. The psychedelic score is pretty jarring and nail biting.
Egg sucking psycho! (I wonder if this influenced Angel's (1983) mom fixated creep) |
Goth enough for ya? |
Redemption and Kino put out a DVD and it's also streaming on Tubi.
Mildred is so drama |
Chinese Torture Chamber Story Directed by Bosco Lam. Starring Yvonne Yung.
In my review from 2012 of this newly restored title by Vinegar Syndrome, I had just discovered the perverse world of Wong Jing. My standards for the depravity he doled out with his category III flicks were apparently very high and as a result set by this film. I credit the Deep Red Catalog for this and also commend 88 Films, VS, Severin, Kino and all the other Media companies for unleashing these maniacal films in pristine condition!
Did we really need this morally reprehensible fuck-fest to come out on Blu-ray? I mean solely for my enjoyment then YES!I wonder how many people out there even knew of this title before VS announced it? I was stoked to re-watch it for sure because it’s just so fucking unique and brutal but not in a stomach-turning kind of way. I haven’t seen it since 2012, the year I started this blog. Hard to believe and it’s cool to see how far we’ve come in unearthing strange hard to find cult classics for those who missed out back in the day.
Almost weekly I rent VS titles from the record store I work at and CTCS is highly irregular in quality and culturally for their usual fare. This film does have all the sleaze, sex novelties and cancel culture red flags here that are usually represented in a Cat III title. On Tubi (as of this review) there is currently a documentary on the subject of CAT III films to help the novice navigate his way towards the Shaw Bros and Men Behind the Sun territories. So, if you like demented shit in an Asian period piece setting, you will dig the hell outta this!
There’s so much torture in this movie involving the antics of Little Cabbage played by Yvonne Hung Yung.
Yang played by Lawrence Ng is a sex maniac and involves Cabbage in his debauchery and lies. He first notices and is also enchanted by her “tiny feet” I loved that this new version comes with English subs or original Language w subs. That way you can rip a bong hit and laugh at the chop-socky dubbing. But it gets more thorough because the disc includes Cantonese and Mandarin language.
These snazzy fingers traps will turn lil' Cabbage into Coleslaw |
The style of Torture Chamber is like an erotic wacky comedy with punishment. One new aspect I noticed were the Grand Inquisitors fuzzy mauve hats, which was an inspired fashion choice!
Kwong-Leung Wong plays Got Sui Tai. In this, he supposed to have a huge donkey dick. I like how one female character pantomimes the size to Little Cabbage (who later on wrestles the massive python).Kwong-Leung was in John Woo’s Killer and all 3 of the “On Fire” movies by Ringo Lam. He seriously outdoes himself in this role in the sex acrobatics department.
There is a slight parody to the Patrick Swayze movie Ghost (with an Asian sounding version of The Righteous Brothers song), which ends with a giant orgasm hitting a gong across the room. Next, we are thrown into high flying kung Fu mid-air sex in a haunted forest. This is my favorite part because it’s just super wacky.
Horniest couple of the forrest award goes to... |
I left some parts of my original review in this one. I really enjoyed this one but understand if not everyone can stomach it. There are many scenes where females are slapped (and it looks very realistic) or beaten and man-handled. I think those with weak stomachs would rather not bother watch these sorts of films anyway, there’s lots of A24 bullshit for them to gnaw on. This movie is more titillating and or revolting than a THOU album cover.
Bloodlust (1992) Directed by Jon Hewitt/Richard Wolstencroft
Does an Industrial music flavored Australian indie flick with a vampire fetish sound like a fun time? Then (as of this review) Tubi is the one place that has this rare treat available. so let's get goin Mate!
Like I’ve said before, Chas knew a treasured gem when he saw it.
There’s another film with this title that I still jab Mr. Goat in the ribs about and that’s the German Mosquito (aka Bloodlust 1976). This one has an industrial soundtracks from the likes of 100 Homo DJs and Revolting Cocks. Oh Joy!
The fly that died in my coffee looks just like Al Jourgensen |
The three gun nutter butter bloodsuckers are Frank a redhead (Kelly Chapman), a Blonde named Lear (Jane Stuart Wallace) and Tad, a longhair dude (Robert James O'Neil). (Erok here, it was very hard to recall which female was which and the actors never appeared in anything else, so excuse my laziness).
To my shock, I found this director has a knack for comedy, some of it on the bad taste Troma level or a foreign Street Trash which I guess would be Body Melt!
Man do they love their 2nd Amendment rights in Austria or maybe vampires just really enjoy massacring police with endless rounds of hot lead! You think they’d drink all the yummy Dunkin’ syrupy blood in their veins? But ok we get it, shoot to kill already!
There’s a racist dude who talks shit about Italians. Seems uncalled for.
Some of this movie has a rock video vibe to it like those AmRep ones. Dope Guns and Fucking up your VCR—something like that.
Murray Hill? |
The random pilgrims running around town staking people kind of wear out their welcome pretty fast but they are necessary to destroy vampires.They have a pincushion mascot who looks like an Aussie Gwar character.
I'm in Sleazy P Martini's Posse |
I think more people should be aware of this film. It's raw, clunky and yet brutally endearing.
I get the feeling that people in bands would trade this tape back in the bootleg
days. Think of Bloodlust (92) as an exclusive club for weirdos with a taste for a Skinny Puppy adjacent vampire movie.
Hey Quit Jackin Off! |
let the torture commence |